The Hitler Games Open Today

The Hilter Games open today at CST. For those of you unfamiliar with the games, here is a brief synopsis from coordinator Joanna Sherman:

The Hitler Games are an annual competition to thwart¬† Hitler’s rise to power without killing him. Members are encouraged to use logic, philosophy and pranks, but must not kill Hitler in accordance with the Union rules against murder.

This year’s contest, set in 1909, poses a particular challenge as Hitler has already been born, is already a horrible anti-semite and has already been twice rejected from the Vienna Academy.

The rules are as follows:

A.) Your team may consist of up to seven licensed and certified IUTT members, and one wild-card willing to submit to a memory wipe upon returning to the present.

B.) You and your team must travel back to the contest’s assigned time and point of origin in 1909 and effect change from there. You will have 90 days to adjust the timeline.

C.) You may not kill or maim Hitler. Do not punch him in the face. Even pacifists sometimes have a difficult time with this. Many contestants think they are fine with it, but upon seeing his stupid little mustache, feel an overwhelming need to make it a target for their knuckles.

D.) You may not cause the accidental death of Hitler. Causing someone to die ‘accidentally’ means, by definition, it is not an accident. (See rule C.)

E.) Do not seduce Hitler. Honestly it’s gross.

F.) You may return to the present at any time during your 90 days if you are satisfied with your results. However you may not loop back to 1909 to make further corrections. Teams are also discouraged from looping back within their 90 days, as that can make the contest go on indefinitely. (Note, your actual age will be checked upon your return.)

G.) Each team may enter only once!

H.) Each individual may enter only once. Please, no multi-looped teams consisting of one member from multiple dates.

I.) Winners will be decided by a panel of 6 IUTT members based on which team creates the best overall resultant conditions for all of humankind on June 14th, 1959, at 4pm. Contestants are strongly encouraged to prevent the atrocities of World War II.

As a note, if you feel you must go back and kill Hitler, you will need to request a transfer to timeline Q173, where the parallel Union of International Time Travelers conducts a nightly hunt, but are rapidly running out of Hitlers.

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