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I Like to Ask About the Future

I am fascinated by what people imagine the future will be. They are wrong in various degrees, usually because they lack the scope of hindsight, and overcompensate by exaggerating whatever is socially or technologically current. It is easy to look on predictions from the past with condescending amusement, but I think it is a good lesson to remind us how flawed and unsophisticated our own predictions invariably are.

A good example comes from Herman Memont, a gentleman who, at 20 years of age in 1740, told me that he imagines the future holds a better way of carving trails and keeping them level so horses may travel with much greater speed and efficiency. He believes that a hundred years hence (1840) that half the world shall have seen fit to convert to a Presbyterian Church. He also imagines that new metals shall be discovered, easier to forge and to the great benefit of men working the lands. I should also mention he also says every good man will have two dark and obedient slaves to work these metal wonders. This shouldn’t have been a surprise to me, but I think my look, an arched eyebrow, may have given away something of what I thought of this unfortunate aspect of the past.

Last week, I was speaking with a representative from 2118 when I inadvertently mentioned a delicious BLT I’d have for lunch.

Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato?” he asked an eyebrow arched.

I worry now that perhaps in the future people don’t eat meat and I am seen as some dull savage.

December Transfers

Transfers for December need to have their applications in by November 15th at 1 p.m.. We receive numerous requests each month, and if you do not receive a response, this is not verification that you may transfer. If you wish to transfer from your own timeline to another, whether for research or personal reasons, you are asked to keep the following rules in the forefront of your mind.

  1. If you are traveling for research purposes, you will need to have a completed proposal attached to your application.
  2. If your transfer is for personal reasons, you will need to verify you have attended all appropriate counseling sessions. It is  tempting to skip these, but they are very important and can avoid issues with Pre-Tramatic Stress Disorder and Retronausea.
  3. If you are traveling for sight-seeing or other entertainment purposes, you are asked to delay you request until August. You are free to jump forward if this is more convenient to you. You may also jump back to last August if you prefer, though if you do, you likely already have.
  4. If you are transferring to a timeline in which some version of you exists, you will need written consent from that self and a clear action plan detailing how the transfer will take place.
    • If your other self is also transferring, and you are  switching places, please indicate this in your application.
    • If your other self is transferring to a further timeline, you will need to submit a complete list of how many of your selves are transferring and to where. It is not unheard of for dozens of selves to inadvertently select the same timeline to visit, causing all manner of chaos. This is to be avoided.
    • If the number of selves transferring is infinite, or near infinite, your request will be denied due to the obvious excess of paperwork.
    • If you are transferring to a timeline in which you wish to thwart or kill an evil version of yourself (i.e. evil twin), you will need to get an IA 792 exemption from the ethics board regarding your plans. These exemptions are rare.
    • If your are transferring to a timeline in which you wish to thwart or kill a good version of yourself (i.e. you are the evil twin), you will want to check with the ethics board to see if an IA 792 complaint has been filed against you.
  5. If you are transferring backward to a timeline in which you do not yet exist, please ensure you will not cross over with friends and family who may be jarred by your eventual birth. This is especially true if you are traveling back within your own timeline and have not already been told how weird it is that “you remind me of someone.”
  6. If you are transferring to a timeline in which you never existed and never will exist, please make sure to attach a certified timeline report which indicates this fact.
  7. If you are transferring to a timeline greater than 12° from your original point of origin, please make sure you have all requisite vaccinations and precautions.
  8. If you are transferring to timelines DK2-DK23 please keep in mind there are no vaccinations against dinosaur bites.

 

Please direct any questions to the comment section below.